It was a small, inconsequential thing that sparked something in me. To question the whole equation I had taken on since forever. In that moment I realised effort or 'trying' pushed things further away from me.
Effort = Reward.
I call bullshit on that.
It simply cannot be a full or accurate equation. Being a tenacious self I ploughed on all these years til almost forty. By then I had to admit that this notion of positive inclination, attitude and application just didn’t deliver the goods. It just didn't reap the rewards vs the exertion. The correlation was bugged.
To me experience of life is a direct result of the level of energy you give it - a like for like. Emitting 'good' energy out into the world will eventually lead to receiving it back, and vice versa. At the moment of my epiphany nothing bad had happened, it was the proactive time spent on a simple task that got further and further away with effort that got under my skin. Not bothering would have achieved the same outcome.
It clearly led to a negative feeling of frustration. Some reward! Where's the sense here?
I've realised problem is in the STRIVING.
And that energy can do one.
We judge it as a positive value, though unwittingly our "striving" is actually a mode of controlling outcomes... we latch onto a desired outcome and don’t let go.
It's a hard one to get because unless we feel we're DO-ING something we're not creating, or making progress. Carrying a task through helps us feel in our power, however innocent and positive the application is. But if you think about it, it's actually a desire to control. Faith replaced, at best, with a natural expectation of a positive outcome. It's just the way we've been programmed to seek results... no biggie to reproach ourselves here.
The answer is to take action and release it to the ether.
THINK BOW AND ARROW
We can only take action towards an outcome. You fire energy in a specific direction, then let go. Like a bow and arrow. It's the energy behind the action that sends it to where it lands. The arrow is not sent with a "needy" energy to accompany it, actively willing the arrow along to change its trajectory. It's neutral - or with a burst of love, like Cupid.
Remembering that like-attracts-like, I find that remove all fear-based, latent tension in the mix to "obtain" the outcome - I actually receive the outcome. This is the way energy works, reciprocally. An added emotional vibration will still seek like-for-like, but perhaps unconsciously for you.
Hence hitting your head against that brick wall.
I'm learning to let go of that impulse to want to push, will or manipulate the thing to make it happen. The universe doesn't judge or give meaning. Energy is energy. It just does, and moves toward its like.
Perhaps a more accurate (albeit vague) equation is: ACTION = OUTCOME
Or more helpfully: ACTION + FAITH = DESIRED OUTCOME
Where you direct energy is up to you (or your subconscious) so stop STRIVING. And free yourself. Your action has impact.
Check my PING THUD method for a simple way to check what you're putting out there :)